So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
