Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
