if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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