So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
