i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
