It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
