It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
