Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
