And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
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he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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