I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
