I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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