There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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