your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize