dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
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