I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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