Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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