I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize