dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
