I'm really into asian looking animals
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
