i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
