so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
