he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
