I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you had me at cake vodka
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
