It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
