Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
