So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Soap is not a condiment
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
