this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize