you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
