I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
babies were throwing up all over the place
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
