He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
