As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
