I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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