In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
