i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
