it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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