Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
