You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
