dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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