I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize