the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
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I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
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The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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