Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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