Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Randomize
