Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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