drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
