shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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