the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize