i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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