What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
