I have demons in me.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
