She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
