I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
