I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
wow bdsm is so cute
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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