bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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