weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize