you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize