i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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