You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick