so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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