I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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