do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
