Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
